19: Tapping into Transformation: Shift Your Thinking for Success with Dr. Rosie Kuhn

Dr. Rosie Kuhn will take you on a journey of transformation, where she will guide you through the process of reducing negativity and engaging in your true self. You will find out how to identify goals and obstacles that may be in the way of achieving them, and learn how to become more conscious of your negative thoughts and feelings in order to shift your beliefs and thinking in order to achieve success.

Dr. Kuhn will also be discussing her new course Inward Bound Boot Camp for Self Transformation. Join Dr. Kuhn on this amazing journey and discover the power of transformation!

In this episode we cover:

• What is transformation and how is it different from change?

• Secrets to reducing negativity and engaging your true self

• How to reduce negativity in your life and how to transform yourself

Summary:

Dr. Rosie Kuhn, a transformational coach and life coach for over 40 years, encourages us to make small changes in order to reduce the amount of negativity in our lives. In a recent episode of our HobbyScool podcast, she emphasized that it takes time to undergo a transformational process to reduce negativity and engage more of our true selves.

Dr. Kuhn has a YouTube channel, where she has a course called Inward Bound Boot Camp for Self Transformation. In this course, the first step is to identify what you want, and to think about what that will give you. The second step is to identify the obstacles that are in the way of achieving that goal.

Dr. Kuhn highlighted that transformation is not only about what we do, but also how we “be”. It is based on wanting something rather than fear and lack. She believes that it is the fear of failure, rather than the actual failure, that often gets in the way of achieving success.

Dr. Kuhn also encouraged us to become more conscious of our negativity, whether it is a thought, feeling, or sensation in our body. She suggests that if we become aware of this and focus on the positive, we can shift our thinking and beliefs in order to achieve success.

For those looking to undertake this process, Dr.Kuhn can be found on YouTube, her website at the link below, where she has a new course on self transformation.

Mentioned In This Episode

• Where you can find Dr. Rosie: Website

• Inward Bound: Bootcamp for Self-Transformation

• Don't forget to join our wait list for the next HobbyScool online learning summit. Our summits are free to attend and you can be the first to know when the next summit launches by getting on the wait list here.

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Transcript:

[0:00:02] Dr. Destini Copp: And my special guest today is Dr. Rosie. Dr. Rosie is the principal of the Paradigm Shifts Coaching Group, a boutique coaching firm which focuses on personal and spiritual development in oneself, in relationships, and in the workplace. And Dr. Rosie, thank you so much for joining me. I am super excited, excited to chat with you and want to dig into this topic today where we're going to be talking about we want transformation, we just don't want to change. And before I begin and jump into all the questions that I have for you, can you tell the good audience a little bit more about you and how you help people?

[0:00:46] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Sure. Well, I've been in the field of therapy, coaching, spiritual guidance for over 40 years. I've been working in recovery with addicts and addictions. And I think the foundation of a lot of what people are dealing with are these habitual patterns that are sometimes considered an addictive pattern. My work as a transformational coach is to support and empower people, to really look and explore and be curious about who they are inside themselves. And it can be such a wonderful, exciting, and curious adventure, but most of us think, oh my God, I'm going to find things out that I don't want to know about myself. So that's basically what I've been doing for 40 years, and I make it about as fun as I can. So people are like, they want to engage in knowing themselves and changing themselves and empowering themselves. That's what it's all about.

[0:01:47] Dr. Destini Copp: And I think all of us want to know more. We think we know ourselves maybe, but there's a lot of things we probably can explore by going through this process. And one of the questions that I have for you and it's kind of the preface, if you would, on what we're going to be talking about today is what is transformation and how is that different from going through change?

[0:02:16] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Most people think that look at change as things that we do different or think different. So this is the time of year that people are doing New Year's resolutions. And I'm going to change the way I look, the way that I feel. I'm going to change the way that I dress. I'm going to change the way that I act. And we look at specific elements of that. I'm going to wear more earrings, I'm going to wear more less makeup, I'm going to wear a bra versus I'm going to eat better. Those kinds of things are things that we think about in terms of change. But when we look at the bigger question, like, okay, what is it that has you want to change anything? They want something. It's a bigger want, in a sense. And people talk about this all the time with their marketing is like, what's the why? What's the big why? And when we're looking at, I want to feel better in my life, I want to feel better in my body. I want to feel happier and more joyful.

[0:03:18] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: We're looking at an element of shift or change in all the ways of being me. So it's about how I be versus what I do. So transformation occurs in every element of life, every aspect of life. When we're beginning to make these fundamental changes in how we be, then it shifts every part of our life. And that's the fun part for me, of transformation versus change. Quite often, I'm going to say it this way too destiny. Change is basically based on fear and lack. Like, I'm going to change this because I'm afraid I'm not enough, or I'm not pretty enough, or I'm not healthy enough, or I'm not enough. And that sense of lack has us want to change something. Where for me, as a coach or a transformational coach, and this is true for a lot of coaching, it's like, what's the big goal? What is it that you're wanting? Like, for me, I turned 70 this past year. It's like I want to be healthy and thrive for the rest of my life. And I think that's true for people who are in their thirty s and forty s. They go, I want to thrive.

[0:04:30] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: And that level of thriving is not just about what I eat, changing what I eat. It's really a thriving which shifts the way that I'm being, my attitude, the way that I see how I'm feeling about things. I used to be. I think of myself as a very loving, kind person. But I'll tell you, I've been grumpy and bitter and frustrated and judging a lot. And it's like, I can't be happy and joyful and judge can't or bitter, I can't be both. I have to decide. So I want the quality of being happy or the quality of being joyful or even in serenity. And that takes a practice of focus to say, okay, I want to be this, but what I'm feeling is I'm being angry or pissed off or grumpy. What needs to shift? So it's a bigger question. Not like, what do I have to change? Oh, I have to make sure I clean my house every day. That'll make me feel better. It's like, no, what is it that's under defect?

[0:05:35] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Does that make sense?

[0:05:36] Dr. Destini Copp: Yeah. You gave us a lot to impact, and this is all new to me, so I'm probably going to ask some stupid questions.

[0:05:43] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: They're a great question.

[0:05:45] Dr. Destini Copp: So what are the questions I have? I know a lot of people at this time of year, losing weight and getting healthy, right, is one of the top priorities there. So let's kind of dig into that.

[0:05:59] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: A little bit more.

[0:06:00] Dr. Destini Copp: And I don't know, you can use me as a guinea pig, because I certainly would love to lose weight this time of year. And I feel like I've been eating healthy. It's just not coming off. What would I do how would I break that down? How would I begin that transformation process, if you would?

[0:06:19] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: That's a great question. So one of the things that I can direct people to is I have a YouTube channel, dr. Rosie Koon, and I have a course there. It's called inward bound boot camp for self transformation. And it's step by step. I think there's 21 days, if you will, or 21 steps. The first one is what do you want? What do you want that's the first step is okay. And we say, I want to lose weight. Destiny, you say you want to lose weight. You're eating well, but it's like, what is it you want that losing weight will give you? What is it that you want that you're willing to change what you're doing so that you can have that? What is that?

[0:07:08] Dr. Destini Copp: I think that's a very good question because I don't think I've ever thought about it that way. Obviously, there would be benefits that I could see to losing weight, like clothes fitting better or fitting in clothes that I would like to wear. So that would be one. I think I would have to think about it and kind of break it down a little bit more.

[0:07:35] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Let's in a moment. Just look at that one, because all of it is going to point to the same place. So one of the benefits for you of losing weight is that you're going to fit into your clothes better and your clothes are going to fit better on you. What's that like? What's the quality of being when you are in those clothes and they fit you well and it feels good when you're in those clothes that fit you well? What's the quality of that being? What's it like being you in that?

[0:08:06] Dr. Destini Copp: So I would say if I had to think about it, because it's definitely been a while, so I would say that obviously it would feel good. I would feel more younger, more youthful, more energetic. I'm sure I'm missing some things there, but those are some of the things that come to my mind first.

[0:08:33] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: So youthful, energetic, you'd feel good. What's another word that's more descriptive of when you're imagining yourself in clothes that fit you well and you feel really good in those? What's those qualities that you imagine yourself experiencing in those clothes that feel well?

[0:08:58] Dr. Destini Copp: I would just say just definitely more energy being able to do more stuff. Yeah, that's just what's coming to my mind, and I'm sure there's more there.

[0:09:09] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: And so part of my work as a transformational coach is to help you know what those are, because when you know that you're having an experience as we're talking about this, you are, in a sense, going in and going, what is that experience? Oh, youthfulness. That feels really fun, energetic. I like that feeling. Right? Delightful. Oh, my God, I love looking at myself in this. I look beautiful. We have a delight about the experience. Is that right? Is that one of the words?

[0:09:36] Dr. Destini Copp: Yeah, I would absolutely agree with that. Like, all of that I would use to describe how I would feel if I was in that state.

[0:09:44] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Excellent. So when you know that, what happens to your potential idea of losing weight or shifting what you're doing so that you can have that experience? The youthful, energetic, delightful.

[0:10:02] Dr. Destini Copp: And I think that's the challenge, because the activities that you have to take to get to that point are almost they feel like they're almost impossible to do.

[0:10:16] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Beautiful. So in this inward bound bootcamp for self transformation that's on YouTube, this is day number two. Day number one is, here's what I want. I want to lose weight. And part of why I want to lose weight is because I love the feeling of being youthful and energetic and delighted in myself and delighted in my being right. That's what I want. Second day two is what's in the way? What are those obstacles? And so what you're saying in this moment, destiny is right now, it feels impossible.

[0:10:55] Dr. Destini Copp: Feels impossible. It feels almost like climbing Mount Empress would be a good way to describe it. Yes.

[0:11:01] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Beautiful. So here's what I want. I want this feeling. I've been there, done that. Because you have. That's how you know it. And you're going, yeah, it's been a while, but yeah, I remember. This is what I like. This is the quality of life I want to have before myself and then what I call the yes, buts what ifs and if only. Okay, the yes, but is it's impossible? It feels impossible. That's one of the yes, buts. Correct?

[0:11:30] Dr. Destini Copp: Absolutely. I would put that in there. It just almost feels like it cannot be done.

[0:11:36] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: That's right. Possible. So this is true for 99% of us. I was just thinking about this for myself. I'm wanting to make some homemade yogurt, and I've already tried twice last week, and I failed. Right. And it's like, oh, God, do I do it again? And it's like it's not the failing I'm afraid of. It's the fear of failure that gets in my way, not the failing, but because I failed millions of times in my life, it's my fear of failing that gets in my way. So here's this place where you go, hey, I want this feeling and this fear of failing, the fear that it's just impossible. So I'm going to fail. Right. There's an automatic I'm going to fail at this because it's impossible gets in your way.

[0:12:24] Dr. Destini Copp: And yes, because I have experienced that failure so many times, I know exactly how that feels. That's right.

[0:12:33] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: And part of it is you have an automatic response to this potential of getting into your clothes and having them fit well. And you have the knowing of that, too. You've been there. But this automatic I'm going to fail, it just stops you in your track so you go, Why bother? Why bother? And this is the dilemma that so many people face, and that is because our languaging and our thinking and our belief systems have been so strong. You're 30 something. You're 30 something, right?

[0:13:09] Dr. Destini Copp: I'm actually 51.

[0:13:11] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Get out of here.

[0:13:12] Dr. Destini Copp: Yes. I wish I was 30 something. That would be awesome for, we'll say.

[0:13:19] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: 40 some years, you have been in the pattern of thinking a certain way, and that patterning is what gets in our way always, of having what we want. And so part of being a transformational coach or a life coach is supporting people and saying, hey, look at this way that you've been thinking about this forever, and just look at how you're thinking about it. I think of myself, and I say this to my clients. I'm your thinking partner. Okay, so here's what you want. You want to feel great. You want to feel that energy and the thriving and the delight of being you. That's what I want for everyone, is that you get to be excited about being in you. Right? That's what you want. And here's this thought that has been with you for probably 45 years. We'll say here's this thought. It's just a thought. Now, is that thought something that you want to continue to believe is true, or are you open to the possibility of shifting that thought to maybe it's not true?

[0:14:24] Dr. Destini Copp: I would say that I would be open to trying to shift that way of thinking, yes.

[0:14:31] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: So one of the things you said is, I'd be open to trying. Okay. At this moment, there's no trying. I'm just saying open to the idea that maybe that thought is not true.

[0:14:41] Dr. Destini Copp: Yes.

[0:14:42] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Okay.

[0:14:42] Dr. Destini Copp: I am open to it.

[0:14:44] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Have you actually had the experience of losing weight and having your close fit in what it feels like to do that?

[0:14:51] Dr. Destini Copp: Yes, I have experienced that also.

[0:14:53] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Okay, so already what was impossible, you already experienced it not as a possibility, but as a fulfillment.

[0:15:03] Dr. Destini Copp: That is correct. Yes, it's been a long time, but yes.

[0:15:09] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: And we can go. Yeah, but it's all gone. No, that doesn't matter to me, because you can keep sourcing into it's impossible. It's really hard. Or you can source into, well, I actually did it before, and I can do it again, because I really want that experience again. I want that tangible experience of fitting in my clothes, being delighted and excited. One of the elements of my training as a coach is my coach said, okay, I want you to go to a store where you like the clothes and try them on and see which clothes actually reflect your essence self. And that was so fun. He said, you don't have to buy anything. You just go try it on. So you know what it's like to be in those clothes that delight you, and you're delighted with yourself inside that. So that was a really great experience. You've had that experience. So we can do this for an.

[0:16:10] Dr. Destini Copp: Hour and a half, but this to.

[0:16:13] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Be a very short show. But that's the dilemma that people face, is like, oh, I want this. I know this place because I've been there. I've done it. I've climbed Everest before, and so I have that potential to do it again, period. Period. Right. But the part the day two part says, yeah, no, it's impossible to do it twice or three times or whatever. It's like no, it's not. It's what you want to tell yourself. It's what you're willing to shift and change. And when people do this, it's not only a shift and change in, let's say, the weight loss process, but you want to feel that way in your relationships with your partners or with your children or with your work, with your employees or employers as you begin to go, Wait, I want that over here, too. I want this over here. We want that delight everywhere. And it's not like, okay, what do I have to change?

[0:17:15] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: It's a shift in how we're seeing ourselves, and it's like, oh, I'm a failure. I'm going to fail at this. One of my favorite ways of terming myself when I'm in those states is, I'm a pathetic loser. And it's like, I'm a pathetic loser. I can't do it. Yeah. And you can continue to stay a pathetic loser, Rosie, or you can shift how you're seeing yourself in witnessing yourself. And that's my choice to say, okay, there are places that I may be that, but how do I maintain that and sustain that truth? As opposed to saying, hey, I've written 14 books. I have got a PhD, which these are things way out of my comfort zone. There's no way I grew up in a family where I was really just invisible at a C minus average in high school, I basically almost flunked college. And at some point, I said, I want to be a therapist, and I want to be a coach. I want to be this stuff. And so I got to do stuff to make that different. I kept doing it, and then I got a PhD.

[0:18:21] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: He was like, what the because that's not my sense of self. That's not me. I've survived. Not only survived, I actually thrive. People look at my life and go, wow, you've got a great life, and they go, yeah, but you don't really know me. You don't know what a pathetic loser I really am. That kind of stuff. And it's like, I got to stop that, right?

[0:18:43] Dr. Destini Copp: Well, let me ask you this, because I think you're bringing up a lot of good points, and why do you think we focus so much on needing to be different or change ourselves? Can't we just be happy with how we are? Do we even need to have that transformation?

[0:19:04] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: The transformation occurs the moment you go, I can stop doing that I put lipstick on and eyeshadow on because I thought we were going to be in person kind of thing, or at least visible. I don't do that anymore. I put earrings on when I'm with my clients because it's zoom, but that's pretty much it. So all of those things I thought I had to do, all those things I thought that were required, and you go, yeah, I don't need to do that. That's a really good thing. Now you can go, I don't need to do that. Okay, I totally get it. You don't have to do it. Now what? And it's like, I don't know. So one of the things I talk about myself, destiny, a lot, because people go, oh, she is an expert and a professional, so she doesn't have those problems. But I only know this stuff because I've worked myself through these negotiations to stay small and little versus going, yeah, no, I can make this different. And then when I know I can make this different, then I can talk to you and go, you know, this place, destiny of that delight, do you want that again? And you go, Hell, yes. And I go, okay, great.

[0:20:17] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Let's do it. And you go, yeah. No, it's impossible. It's like, really? You did it once. Right? So I forget what I was about. I was trying to make a point.

[0:20:28] Dr. Destini Copp: Yeah, we were just talking about I think we put a lot of emphasis on improving ourselves or changing or is that even really necessary? Can we just not be happy the way we are? The way we are today?

[0:20:43] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: That's right. I am connected with a group called Swivera.org Suivera.org, and they have on Facebook something called Swivera Life. And this Friday, I'm going to talk do a talk about we don't have. You know, like Mr. Rogers would say, hey, you're great just the way you are. And the moment that you accept that, it's very, very challenging to say, I love myself the way I am, we have to go, yes, but what about that weight? Yes, but what about the way that your toenails look? Yes, but about the freckle on your nose? Yes, but all those yes, buts and it's like that's the point where transformation because it's like, I'm going to love myself no matter what. I do love myself no matter what. That's the practice. It is tremendously difficult because all those yes, buts come up. Right, but that's the moment that we begin to become enlightened. That's the moment we become awake to say, I'm telling myself that story. I don't need to tell myself that story anymore, that I lack something or I'm unworthy.

[0:21:59] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: I don't have to do that anymore. There's a statistic that says 80% of our thoughts are negative in nature.

[0:22:06] Dr. Destini Copp: Okay, 80%. Did you say 80%?

[0:22:10] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: That means 20% of the time, you're thinking happier thoughts. Happier thoughts? Not necessarily happy thoughts. 80%, you're thinking not happy thoughts. So, oh, look at that freckle. Oh, look at the wrinkles. Oh, look at the just fill in the blank. Look at how pathetic I am. Look at how impossible it is. Look at how many times I've done this and failed. Those are all the negatives. So if we want to make a shift in our lives, just start noticing. You don't have to try anything. You don't have to try. Just notice that's negative.

[0:22:44] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Don't feel guilty, don't feel shame, because that's more negative. But just go, wow, look at that. Be interested, be curious. And because it's worldwide, where all human beings are doing this, because we're in mesh or immerse in this water of negativity, we have an opportunity to just say, hey, I'm going to start looking at and that's what I did. I said, okay, do I want to spend 80% of my life being negative? Do you want to spend 80% of your life being negative, destiny that's a yes or no question.

[0:23:24] Dr. Destini Copp: That is absolutely not. When you said that percentage, I'm like, that's crazy. I don't want to spend 80% of my life.

[0:23:33] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Five or ten years ago, when I first saw the statistic, it was 70%. And then I saw it again. I looked again, and I go, Is that really true? And then it was 80%. So it's like, yeah. So I just said, hey, if I can eliminate 10% of that negativity, what's my life going to be like? Just 10%. And it was like, wow. And now my life is probably, I'll say, 20% negative and 80% positive because I've been working at eliminating those negativities for a long time. But what shows up then is more positive. But what we imagine in transformation is that it's going to be easy, and it's just going to come easy. If our baseline for most of us is 80% negative, your vibration, your energy, your mentality, your belief system, your hormones, your physicality would not be able to tolerate a huge shift the other way without some distortion in our being. And so that's why it takes a long time. It takes the time it takes to go through this process, this transformational process, to engage more of our true self, which is basically less and less negativity. Our essential nature is fun and playful and connected and engaged and wise.

[0:25:01] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: It's not negative and fearful and depressed. It's not. So we can change that by becoming more conscious of, oh, there's that negativity. Oh, there's that negativity. And it doesn't even have to be a thought. Sometimes it's a feeling. Sometimes it's a sensation in my body. I go, this doesn't feel good. So there's something negative going on. Don't know what it is yet, but I'm going to be aware of it. So there's nothing to change. Nothing to change. But my intention is to be in less negativity, period. And if people just did that just because, what's the point of being negative? You know what I'm saying.

[0:25:49] Dr. Destini Copp: I love it. I love what you're saying, and it's just making a few tweaks here and there. So, Dr. Rosie, before we close out here today, any last minute tips or things that you want to mention to the audience?

[0:26:07] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: I think that what we've brought up today, Destiny, is just the ticket. It's like there's nothing to do. Just stop doing what doesn't work. If you want to be happier, just notice how negative you are. Notice where you focus your negativity. Notice. Perhaps the TV shows or the IGS or Facebook. Notice where you're bringing in negativity and just say, Is this what I want? And if it's a yes to say, okay, I'll just keep doing more negativity, be good with it. Don't blame yourself or feel guilty. Just go, I want this or the food that we eat. I'm not ready to give up that apple pie. Okay, great. I'm going to encourage you not to give up that apple pie, because we need to have choice in our lives. We need to have that sense of empowerment.

[0:26:54] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: And so whether I'm choosing apple pie or a cup of yogurt, it doesn't matter. I get to choose and everybody gets to choose. And that's the most important way that we get to see how we're empowering ourselves. So whether we're empowering ourselves to feel angry and pissed off or peaceful and tranquil and delighted in our skin, in our bodies and our clothes, it's that choice making. That's the bottom line.

[0:27:22] Dr. Destini Copp: And I think that is so powerful. Dr. Rosie, can you let the good audience know if they wanted to go learn a little bit more about you and what you do, where can they find you?

[0:27:36] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: They can find me. You can actually just Google me. Rosie koon Kuhn. You can find me on YouTube, like I said, and my website is called The Paradigm Shifts.com. And again, if you Google me, the paradigmyshifts.com will come up and you'll see that there's a lot of blogs, there destiny, there's a lot to read, there's a lot of information. I provide one on one coaching training as well as one on one coaching. And if you go there and you go, oh, I'd like to work with her, but she's probably too busy, just dial that number or email me and see what we can perhaps work together if you want to. Don't give up just because you think that's just an excuse on your part. Oh, she'll probably be too busy for me. Give it a try if that's what you want. So that's the best place, is the Paradigmshifts.com or YouTube. And I've got a new course on Suevera.org that's available. Again, it's the boot camp for self transformation. So lots of fun places. Just Google.

[0:28:43] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: You'll find me.

[0:28:44] Dr. Destini Copp: And we'll also make sure, Dr. Rosie, that those links are in the show notes so people can find them and go straight to your website and the YouTube channel and thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to chat with me today, and I so much enjoyed the conversation. I definitely had a lot of AHA moments and things to think about as we move on to more positivity.

[0:29:11] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Thank you, Destiny. And if you want me back on your show, just anytime, just let me know. I'll be here. It's fun talking with you.

[0:29:19] Dr. Destini Copp: Thank you.

[0:29:19] Dr. Rosie Kuhn: Thanks for letting me coach you a little bit. That's, I think, really great. That's very courageous. Thank you. Thanks.